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Greetings travelers and thinkers. My name for our purposes here is Sionnix. I am a Humanist/Atheist freethinker who wishes to share his thoughts and experiences with you all. My goal here is to learn, educate, intrigue and grow. If you have anything you wish for me to talk about please please please, don't even think about hesitating. My e-mail is philosophypool@gmail.com. All topic requests will be seriously considered. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and don't ever stop asking questions. -Sio

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Monday, September 20, 2010

On Relationship Progression

This past weekend (yesterday in fact), I went to lunch with a person I met in Algebra. I hate to speak for someone else but I would assume that she had a fine lunch because I did. Anyway, it was some other people's comments that got me thinking about this. I went to lunch with a person, and she happened to be of the opposite gender, but what if I had gone to lunch with a dude? Would everyone and their grandmother assume that I was looking to get into a dude's pants had I have gone to lunch with a guy on my floor instead? I think not. But in fact when I returned from my lunch I received many comments about the attractiveness of my "date." This bothered me slightly because, it wasn't a date. And it brought to my attention the fact that many people have a different concept of dating than I do, and to demonstrate this I will use a little bit of logic. My idea of relationship progression is as follows, accepting "A" as Friendship, "B" as Exclusiveness, and "C" as Love towards one another. If and only if A then B, and if B then C. This being: One can't really be logically exclusive towards someone who is not a friend, and B and C I suppose can switch spots without harming my argument because my point is this: mustn't one become friends with a person before they are in an exclusive relationship and/or in love? I think so, never have I thought that dating was something you did with complete strangers, never did I think that two people should "love" each other or have an exclusive relationship with one another before they became friends. Is that not what love is? Do those in an exclusive relationship not value their relationship with each other more than those relationships with every other friend? This just made no sense to me. Moreover the poor girl felt the need to tell me that she wasn't looking for anything more than friendship. I felt terrible, she should never have to put herself in an uncomfortable position and tell me or anyone that after going to lunch once. Friends go to lunch all the time and in our case we went to lunch to better our knowledge of one another, because that's how you make friends!

In conclusion: two persons must first become friends, before they might become lovers.

2 comments:

  1. a) I agree with almost all of your points, but you miss the scenario of "not a serious relationship" in which nothing really matters except whether you have fun together.

    b) Related to a), check out Ladder Theory. You may find it amusing.

    c) Did you ever think that, uncomfortable or not, she just wanted to make sure that the fuzzy-faced dork from Algebra didn't have the wrong impression? ;)

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  2. I totally agree also. I feel like there is this common misconception that men and women can't just be friends. I don't get it at all. But I also feel like it isn't that bad that she told you she wasn't looking for a relationship. It might have been awkward, but it avoids an even more awkward conversation. I dunno. Just my thoughts!

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